This morning I'm in my bed in my new palace. Things are still a little askew, not quite in the places where I want them to be, a certain picture I have keeps falling off my wall. But there's something about this new place that I really love. Sure, it's smaller, less luxurious, but it is so much more ME. Outside my window is a tree that has been blossoming these gorgeous white flowers and when I step out on my balcony, the smell is like heaven. While I ready the kids for school, I know it's my final divorce court date. This is it. After today I am done. But this isn't what I want to blog about. I'm not ready and it's too much right now. I think today I want to tell you about a more recent email exchange I'd had:
...nice tung .wow that bio you gave red like a bible shorten it up or go to an covent . its just a date not a prison date yearssssssssssssssss..."
Really? Again? Boys, didn't we go over this a gazillion times already? This is not the way to woo your lady. When I saw this guy's picture I needed a tetnus shot. I figured he would know best about prison dates and just left him to his own devices. There is really nothing I could say about this guy that you, as a reader, can't figure out already. As I type my daughter is standing behind me stroking my hair. Should I be worried about her reading over my shoulder? GO TO BED!!! Ok, where was I. Creepy guy. Anyway, as soon as I was done erasing him, it was around Passover and Easter, I received email after email of religious based messages:
Hey Hot Jewish, I'm interested. WTF is that supposed to mean? Is that your best foot forward?
How was your brisket? I asked the guy what was he talking about and he said, "I thought brisket was like Turkey for you people." now I'm a YOU PEOPLE that's kinda hot.
I got a lot of SHALOM's and then finally this one came:
after reading your profile I felt that you deserve a worthy email. I hope I peak your interest as you have peaked mine.
(deep breath)
I am a pretty great guy and a hell of a catch (If I do say so myself) My name is E but my friends call me... well.....E. I work hard, play hard and love to cook. I am a romantic through and through. I am so at home in the kitchen I can cook anything from the best Blackened Chicken Fettucini Alfredo you have ever tasted which I have now tasted and it is amazing! to South American cuisine to die for. With me you will never lack a delicious and diverse meal. Although I hate to clean, but do it begrudgingly because I hate messes even more, I would gladly do it with a little help. Also there is nothing more sensual than sharing a kitchen with a special lady.
I am well traveled and would love, if we were to get on, to share places like Arlie Beach Australia, or the Witsunday Islands with you or Alligator Point FL. (no one on the beaches) or even a few out of the way places in Venezuela, Interesting story with that one was held at gunpoint for a day. Heard the story...wow The world is such a beautiful place... (have passport will travel)
I am seeking that special lady who just gets it. I want her to be a good communicator, as I hate when something is obviously wrong when people say "nothing" or "I'm fine". I need someone who believes as I do that every day in both words and in action you must let your "partner" know how you feel about them and that one should never go to bed angry.
Golf, I love to golf and I am okay at it.. However if I were any better I wouldn't get to see as much as the course.. (that's what I keep telling myself as I hoist the chainsaw out of my bag to cut down the obstacle trees) lol.
Sorry I rambled on a bit... I do hope to hear from you.
Cheers
E
There was so much more, but I cut out a lot just b/c it was personal...and mine. I wanted to keep it for me.
My response:
E, I'm about to get my kids up and start the day when I read your email. Thank you for making a smile come back to my face. You have perfect timing. I'd love to get to know you better. Gotta ready the rugrats. Love, Robyn
Charming, normal (seemingly enough), I looked at his profile and I can't figure out for the life of me what he does for a living. Hmmmm, I'm deciding on how much of E to let you in on, b/c there's so much. But it's like Pandora's box. If I open up the lid, will all of the skeletons come flying out? Or, fuck it, I could just Tarantino it and go from today and work backwards. I could tell you about how we sat together at Corner Bakery in the city waiting for my meeting with my lawyer before my divorce was final. The el trains would roar by as we sat outside fiddling with our stupid phones trying to keep ourselves from going mad Facebooking (I LOVE using that as a verb). He says the kindest things to me. You're beautiful. You are just stunning. Not to appease me, but because he wants to. He tells me the truth. Even when it's not exactly flattering.
"I feel weird in this. I wish I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I feel like I'm wearing a monkey suit." Now granted, I'm wearing a black sweater, black leggings, and black high-heeled boots today. Nothing odd, but just not really me. It's right for court.
"You feel weird because it's normal and you don't dress normal," he said. Thank you? I know it's true, but. Well, whatever. This same guy who tells me what a great guy he is and a golfer and chef is now with his arm around me in the courtroom as my soon-to-be-ex-husband is staring me in the face and I feel like I'm going to barf. E is telling me everything is going to be ok and he's here. I'm mourning the death of my marriage. More than a decade of my life has gone by with a man who couldn't care less if I lived or died, and this one is telling me how lucky he is to know me. In my recent posts I talk about driftwood and I'd said I'd keep asking for my soulmate to come. Is it E? I don't know, maybe. I know what he did today. Today he stood for me like no man has. I am grateful. I am also so grateful for all of you who sent texts and vm and emails today. It meant so much. I'm sorry if I'm a bit fragmented tonight. I'm tired emotionally and physically and I need a break. I'll be back full force very soon. I promise. much love to you all, Robyn
Song picks:
I Am Your Man by Ryan Shaw
and Hero by Chad Kroeger
