I saw Andre the Giant once. Does that count? Junkyard Dog? Hulk Hogan!

I remember once when Sheila, my boss, came to visit us at our studio to give us our continuing education and to do some body whispering training.  She took all of us instructors to an Italian restaurant around the corner and I was sitting next to her (she still makes me nervous with these crazy eyes that stare into your soul) and she kept turning to me and touching me in some way.  Whether it was my arm, my hair, my face…she made some kind of contact with me.  Finally she said, “What is going on with you that I feel this pull to you?  I feel like you’re needing this today, “ and she demonstrates how she’s been touching me on the arms and hair and such.  Now, the whole time she’s been here for the visit, I’m my usual clown-like self, making jokes and you’d never know there was anything going on, but immediately my eyes welled up.  It was the time that my marriage was starting to fade.  Sheila is so empathic.  She knows where to go when the energy is pulling her and when she’s needed.  I ended up having a dance that day at S-factor that was cathartic.  ("Mama," by Beth Hart, if you wanted to know) The reason I’m starting with this…

Last week…WHEW!  (Been more than a week now, but I've been sitting on this post deciding on where it fits in my world) Divorce final, broke up with my man, met super-cool people Friday, saw a horrible fight where a guy with a cast bashed a pretty little 21 y/o face on her birthday.  She was wearing a sparkly tiara.  Met a guy on Sunday, went on a date with him on Monday.  (Different post.  So fun.  He treated me so nicely.  Bought dinner.  Kissed my MOTHER’S  hand and she giggled like a school girl...hilarious!)  But the last few guys that I’ve been out with, I just feel broken.  I have a friend that I’ve taken her phrase from her, “I can’t be bothered.”  I’m kinda burned out.  How freaking sad is that.  ME, HAPPYSUNSHINE EVERYTHING IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD!  I’m finding that I’m just not finding what I desire.  Ah, I digress.  So last week my friends and I go into this karaoke bar close to my hometown and I immediately see a guy who just does not look like he fits.  Not in a bad way.  He just is more...um, sparkly.  Stylish is probably the word I want.  Sparkly makes me think he looks like the women I see that live in Boca that play maj jongh with the rhinestone glasses that talk like they've smoked a pack of Lucky's and drank a fifth of gin...and they're named Lil.  Feel me? I live up in the Northshore now, so when I come back to visit J-town, it’s a lot different.  I love it.  I love where I’m from.  Keeps me honest…yo?  See, I speak jive.  Anyway…the guy…sitting at the bar.  He takes up space, longer dark hair, bandanna on his head, baseball hat on top of that, big shoulders.  As I was coming back from fixing my face I stared at him.  My stare of, "I'm gonna put you on a piece of bread and eat ya like a sammich," stare.  He looks like he’s unapproachable, like he's got a force field around him.  That’s my first impression, “Holy shit.  He looks like a big meany.  Why is he in a karaoke bar?”  When he gets called up to sing he strolls, ‘cause , yeah, he’s got a swagger, up to the area and I’m thinking, “What’s he going to sing?  Some Guns N Roses, maybe?  Metallica?”  I’m looking at his fancy pocket jeans and his square toe shoes.  He’s tall and so handsome.  I’m watching as he grabs the mic on its stand with both hands, props one foot on the base, leans in, cocks his head and breathes in as the music starts… (pling pling pling) ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? NEIL DIAMOND, “SWEET CAROLINE???”  I am hysterically laughing.  However, he sounds amazing, just not what I expected.  Everybody in the bar is singing along, “BAH BAH BAH,”  and the scary bad boy is no more.  Force field, gone.  Meany-shmeany, I'm so excited he's a goofball I can hardly contain myself as I hit my friend on the arm.  "Did you hear that?"  He goes back to his place at the bar with his friend and I am still speechless.  I guess he’d been up there already, we got there late, blah blah, sang all sorts of stuff, but I get Jewish-man-in-polyester song.  YESSSS!  Turns out he is kind of a rock star, I guess, and an athlete of sorts, but more of an actor, I think, in the industry.  Not really sure.  What I do know about him is he has an energy that pulls me to him like Sheila was pulled to me.  Ok, maybe not the SAME energy (eyebrows up and down) but it’s the same concept.  I am always touchy-feely-lovey-dovey.  But I marched right over to him in my too-high heels and introduced myself and he (and his adorable friend) ended up with me/us for the rest of the night…not like that ya dirty girls…just near me.  He’s not cocky or mean.  He’s fun and nice, I almost dare to say sweet, but really guarded.  I should probably take a lesson or two.  The night ended with all of us going to an after-hours club that had some poles in it and that's where that poor girl got her face smashed.  I didn't see what happened b/c I was giving my digits to Rock star/Wrestler/Actor who turned out to be soooooo much younger.  OMG, so much younger.  But that kinda put a damper on things and our goodbye turned out to be watching this poor girl covered in blood getting into an ambulance.  I was hoping I'd get a Mulligan because there was just no salvaging that goodbye.  I’m going to just skip to last night because I’m going to meet friends for lunch.  We met again out at the same karaoke place and, my G-d, he's handsome.  I can’t get a read on him at all about how he feels about me, (he comes to meet me from his hometown about an hour away, we have some cute conversation here and there...eh?) and really…”I can’t be bothered,” because I am so broken, myself.  I’ve had more guys promise the moon in the last few months than I could shake a stick at.  We sing, we dance.  We get ready to go our separate ways and I say, “Nonononono, I’m not letting this happen again.” and I take him by the hands and lead him away from the group.  small talk small talk I’m guarded I’m burned out I can’t be bothered I don’t want a boyfriend/girlfriend incapable blahblah I’m about to invade your space so get ready for it because if you don’t want me to say so now because it’s comin’ do you feel like we’re on display b/c they’re looking at us I don’t care I’m old now if they wanna look let them I’m going to kiss you now(leaning in, but I freak and I pull away from him, but then) *KISS*  Nervous, can’t figure out his rhythm and we’re buzzed and friends are looking.  Fuck, my timing is perfect with him, though.  This is how it’s supposed to be, I just haven’t found what the lesson is yet…and who it is for.  I think it's mine... 

This is where I'd stopped writing for a bit about this guy.  I wanted to see if anything ever came of it...and it didn't.  Of course not.  Remember when I said he was younger?  We're talking like Robyn-what-are-you-thinking younger.  But it was fun to have a crush.  I think that's what my lesson was.  Stop being so serious, because lately with the last few guys that I have dated, whoooo, just not the right ones for me.  One didn't like how free I was...The other said he liked it, but showed his true colors in a text message when I told him he had to talk to me like a lady.  Oh, my lovelies, I have such a low tolerance for bullshit and drama.  I can't stand it.  If you don't treat me right...I go.  Simple.  Ok, so my song picks are, I have 3 because I couldn't decide which one made me happier.  Enjoy your dance breaks with these:
Paralyzer by Finger Eleven

Control by Puddle of Mudd

Seeing Things by Black Crowes

I Brag I am an amazing teacher and I'm back on the schedule at S-factor full force again.

I Am Grateful for my ability and ease to talk to people and make them feel comfortable.

I Desire more...more love, more fun, more financial abundance, more sparkles.  

I hope this post finds you all happy.  Take a walk outside today.  Notice the trees.  Notice something.  Love love love, Robyn