Gotta getcha up to speed

These are postings from my Journal on OKcupid. 

Have to vent for a sec (for my own sanity)

Jan. 16

Everyday I do things to make my life amazing.  Every fricking day!  It's not a big secret to happiness.  This is the advice I've taken over the years and it's made all the difference.  Stop acting like a victim.  Stop complaining that your life sucks because you're alone.  I know it's hard to do, 'cause I'm there...but nobody's gonna fix it for you.  "Why is it so hard when we're all looking for the same thing..." came from a profile from a guy who just wrote me the dirtiest, grossest, first-contact email.  SO...you think that's what I'm looking for?  B/c I don't remember writting in my profile anything about wanting some stranger to comment on my bodyparts asking for details about my grooming habits, so, NO, we're not all looking for the same thing apparently.  Oy, my G-d, really?  What do I do to handle this...I could write a scathing note back and give my energy to him...nah, then shame on me if I let him make me feel like that.  I choose to vent for 5 minutes, get it out of my system, and then let it go so I don't hold it against the next man who contacts me.  Because he could be wonderful and all the things I am looking for.  You see, I'm the one who has control over how I feel and react.  I can put on my favorite song in my living room and dance like a crazy girl and that email suddenly doesn't seem so important anymore.  That sounds like such a good idea right now.  Anyway, thanks for listening.  A lot of times women just want you to listen to the shitty thing that happened to them without trying to fix it, so I feel much better for getting this out. haha.  I know there are wonderful guys out there and this was just one...and I know I have love that's waiting for me.  Just wish he'd hurry up, I've been waiting a long...long...loooooong time for my man

But then:

I'm gonna write a book about my dating experiences

Jan. 17

I really had no idea when I left my marriage how hysterical dating would be.  And I have to laugh about it because if I don't, I'll cry.  G-d, I wish I knew how to write.  It'd be a good book, or not, who knows.  So, yesterday I wrote about the guy who asked about  my body parts and my grooming habits and that I'm letting it go b/c the next man may be wonderful, blah blah blah...  Last night a new suitor writes me this:
"I think you are great.  Well, your profile is anyway.  Maybe you suck.  I don't know yet..." and then he ended it with, "nice pole, (name)"
Really?  Really.  Lmao.  What do I say to that?  Thank you?  I don't suck on the first date?  Nice pole, yourself?  OMG! That's my sense of humor answering, but why would you tell a girl, "Maybe you suck," ?  That's so not...nice.  I am a joker when you get to know me, absolutely, but I really don't get this.  When you are putting your best foot forward, maybe put the honesty filter on.  "I think you're great" (say out loud) "Maybe you suck" (inside voice) "I don't know yet" (out loud) "Nice Pole," (wishful inside voice) I'm just sayin'. Internet dating tourettes? Thanks for taking time to read this.  I hope you all have a great day that doesn't suck.  Or if it does, that it sucks well. (Shit, was that inside voice or out loud, F&%$!)

People from the site commented and they were charming and offered insight.  One guy just chalked it up to guys just have no clue how to control themselves.  I don't believe that.  I've met guys that have normal conversations.  It happens.  They're there!  I have one more that wrote to me today that I am going to post and then I'm done for the day.  Love to you all, R