I promised to stay honest and this is how my body's feeling today.

Yesterday I blogged about how I'm recovering from surgery.  Please forgive me.  This blog may take some twists and turns from my dating to other facets of my life, but I want to keep it true to where I am standing in my days.  Today, this is it. Last Thursday I had a total hysterectomy.  I'm 40 years old and I've now moved onto the final phase of my feminine journey.  Today it settled in my body, it has happened...or at least started to.  I felt sadness.  You know, it's not like I'd planned on having more kids or anything.  I'd joked and said things like, "I'm not using my uterus, what do I need it for? I'll give it to the angels."  I'd even had a Bon Voyage party for my uterus with some of the Sister Goddesses at the spa the night before my surgery.  I wore my tiara to the hospital the morning of and asked for support by way of texts, voice mails, cards...shit, I even asked for Gerard Butler (I'm a greedy bitch) if someone could deliver him.  And all but Gerard was delivered.  So, yes, again I acknowledge what an amazing life I live.  But today I couldn't help feel loss.  And the tears came.  One of the cards I received from a Sister Goddess who was so helpful in calming me, it said:

THE HEART DOESN'T BREAK

"Praise your tears.  Praise the heart

that is moved to release them.

Praise the pain of letting go.

but let go.  Let your tears slake

the thirst of the new-sprouting seed

of your understanding."

-by Judi K. Beach



So I did.  I moved through it.  It still hurts and I'm not sure why, but I'll just feel it for as long as I have to for now.  My song for today is, "This Woman's Work," by Kate Bush.  It's more of a swamp song than a dance break, but some days you gotta have these, too.  Today I say I am Grateful to my uterus for giving me two beautiful children, for reminding me that I am a woman and divine, and for serving me so well for 40 years.  I Brag that I am a Rockstar for being able to have the surgery surrounded in such love and light.   Love to you all, R

Here's a picture of me in all my glory holding up the pink pukey thing and holding down the chicken soup I just ate.  Ah, the perfect mix of narcotics and a tiara.