The BEST post to date (sarcasm)
just now!
Oh, YES! my Darlings! I'm so sorry I've been away with my amazing emails from the guys who want to date me. I just got back from staying at my mom's house while I recovered from a surgery and I came home to an UNBELIEVABLE email from this guy. I copied the part that made me want to scrub myself in Comet. This part came after a lengthy description of how he's a big-time actor that looks just like a thin, young Kurt Russel but won't post any pictures b/c too many men have used his pics to send to women as fake profiles. Oh, Lawdy, it was so good.
"...You can gaze into my dominate green eyes and I'll have breathing in the sensual colonge (Halston 1-12) that I where. You'll have the indulgence of me using my UNREAL TOY COLLECTION.....including a BRAND NEW F-ing machine that I purchased from CA with you. I now have about 6k worth of FANTASTIC TOYS for all your wonderful PLEASURES and DESIRES!..." "Thanks for reading my profile. I'm sure you've never read one like this before...Mmmmmm!"
(crickets chirping) I'm stunned, absolutely stunned. I wish my surgery site didn't hurt so bad when I laugh, b/c this was unfrickingbelievable. The typos, the content, the F-ING MACHINE FROM CALIFORNIA!!! I am going to write a book. I'm thinking this guy could be, "THE ONE." My mother would be so proud.
I'm going to have a quote from the first line from my book now...Ahem..."...If we ever had the pleasure of meeting I would pay for you GAS! a FULL TANK! if your not TOTALLY BLOWEN AWAY at my looks! Thats how confident I am about the way I look! I'd even PUT UP $1000.00 too!..." Sweet Jesus, poetry.
My song pick for this one..."I Got Cash," by Brooklyn Funk Essentials. Enjoy my Darlings. Love, R
"...You can gaze into my dominate green eyes and I'll have breathing in the sensual colonge (Halston 1-12) that I where. You'll have the indulgence of me using my UNREAL TOY COLLECTION.....including a BRAND NEW F-ing machine that I purchased from CA with you. I now have about 6k worth of FANTASTIC TOYS for all your wonderful PLEASURES and DESIRES!..." "Thanks for reading my profile. I'm sure you've never read one like this before...Mmmmmm!"
(crickets chirping) I'm stunned, absolutely stunned. I wish my surgery site didn't hurt so bad when I laugh, b/c this was unfrickingbelievable. The typos, the content, the F-ING MACHINE FROM CALIFORNIA!!! I am going to write a book. I'm thinking this guy could be, "THE ONE." My mother would be so proud.
I'm going to have a quote from the first line from my book now...Ahem..."...If we ever had the pleasure of meeting I would pay for you GAS! a FULL TANK! if your not TOTALLY BLOWEN AWAY at my looks! Thats how confident I am about the way I look! I'd even PUT UP $1000.00 too!..." Sweet Jesus, poetry.
My song pick for this one..."I Got Cash," by Brooklyn Funk Essentials. Enjoy my Darlings. Love, R
Lots of raw material there Dovey...and stop laughing so hard, now my incisions scars are aching. Heading to scare up that song pick for a dance break. xoxoxo Love, S
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